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Stream #bts thoughts - days 14-21

Updated: Dec 21, 2021

I locked myself out my own account… this week has been rough as heck. Between trying to balance staying positive AND not falling into a depression is like a struggle right now.

Christmas 🎅🏾 wintertime, holiday season usually doesn’t bother me much. I never really stressed over it before. I always wanted to make it special for the kids but this year it’s almost like dang what else can go wrong without thinking that. I’m trying to not be so upset about things I don’t have control of mostly. Its weird.

I don’t wanna see no more balloons

My daughter will be 16 in a few days… I think that has a big part in it. Acknowledging she’s growing up so fast. I love her so much. My ass was over here blowing up balloons with my mouth cuz i didn’t have the attachment on the vacuum to blow them up. Stood in target for an hour because I misplaced my card and waited for someone to transfer it to. I’m just tired man.

Kids don’t understand that they have to earn respect too. I do somewhat believe in respecting our elders but if they come at you disrespectfully they lose that. Teaching my kids that part and annunciating it in a way that they comprehend it is hard af.

“The sun is a daily reminder that we too can rise again from the darkness, that we too can shine our own light.”

Anyhoo, recap of this week. I overloaded myself with a bunch of things I shouldn’t have, as usual but I’m ok with saying hey I am doing to much it’s time to be still. Adult adhd has been actin up a lot lately and that’s a big part of it. today is MONDAY! I am up at 6am writing this because I promised myself I would commit to at least 1-2 posts a week. Not too much but not too little. I want to increase how often but when I locked myself out I messed myself up. I swear self sabotage is crazy. I AM NOT going down this road with myself again. I want to get myself healthy. I am going to crack the code I can do thi…. I keep telling myself.

2022 isn’t just gonna be my YEAR it’s gonna be that for the community. With that I’m excited to announce The #DapperGardenGaming team. #DDG focused on uplifting men and women positively in gaming, art, cosplay and growing your own communities. I love being able to help ppl grow and meet their goals. that’s always been something that has made me so happy. the 1st quarter of the new year I have so many things on my mind!


Man it’s been a long journey for me as a content creator🥺. I tell you I am fighting and I will win its def here. I mean i think about ppl like you. Reading this is even support! I cant thank you enough! I’m getting there. I have a game plan in mind. So here are my goals for 1st quarter:

Live Streaming #Goals


  • Following 5k

  • CCV 40-55

  • 2 unique reels a week

  • 1-2 post daily

  • New schedule outlined weekly

  • 5 stream days 6 hrs

  • 25k weekly 🌟 stars and 1 #starfest per stream

  • 2-5 subscribers per stream

Twitch 👾

  • Following 15k

  • CCV 40-60 TWITCH

  • 3-4 stream days 3-5 hrs

  • 5-10 subscribers per stream

  • 25k week bits 💠

Content Goals

IG 📸

  • Following 5k

  • 4-8 posts

  • 2 unique reels a week

  • become a creator (10k+)

TikTok 👯‍♀️

  • Following 5k (10k by July)

  • 5 weekly posts

  • 5 weekly live

  • Get to 2000 coins per live (roughly $20)

  • 1 dance video a week


  • vlog weekly

  • push to 1000

  • post Facebook content to YouTube

  • work towards getting partnered in 2nd quarter

  • 2 beauty videos a month

  • 2 blerdy

  • 10 a month

Merch / Partnership Product Goals

  • New item weekly

  • 5 Sales a month

  • wear more in photos

  • 2-5 posts a month

  • Increase Sales for AdvGG and Jerky XP

Personal Goals

  • 3-5 blog/journal entries a week

  • Meal prep 3 days a week

  • Eat Healthier meals

  • Stick to 1500-1800 cal intake

  • 30 min - 1hr work outs / 2 - 4 days a week

  • Walk 15-30 min daily

  • Sleep More

  • 4 days a month of me time

  • watch more anime

  • take a picture daily

  • Embrace moments

  • give it my all but not all if of me

  • if something doesn’t serve me in return, let it go

  • i do not have to be caught up in the details…

  • stress less

  • spend more time with my kids when they actually want to spend time.

  • financially free

  • pay off 80% of debt

  • work on college savings for kids

  • invest in #nft

  • acquire 2 sponsorships a month

  • Cosplay moreeeee


I’ve never been one to make resolutions, I’ve always set goals. That over the years has helped me Stay a little more focused. Outside of those things I can’t wait to learn more about me internally. I cant can’t wait to find more balance. read more. spend more time with God And the goddess in me. It’s a weird place to be at 36 but this is only the beginning of life for me and now I get it. I understand so much more and wish I could teach my kids sooner rather than later. All of those goals, new things and on top of that, I also am returning to #gtarp, staring a new business endeavor for the new year, releasing new merchandise and I’m so proud of all the things planned. I am just hopeful and filled with joy. I’ve been pushing and ready! I love you guys! Thank u for stickin' it out with me!

Don’t forget to come check out my Facebook and Twitch.

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